Break ups are typically unpleasant. Whether you are the ‘dumpee’ or the ‘dumper’. It creates often significant changes in a persons life especially when the relationship is long term and serious.
Most of us have been there. We are familiar with the collection of emotions that you experience; stress, fear, anger, sadness, surprise. All of which impacts the duration and the difficulty of the healing process.
Sometimes break ups are easy. If both parties realize early on that it’s not working out, that there is little chemistry, it is much easier to have a clean break and go on your separate ways. However, most break ups are painful, you build your life around a person – whether it is intentional or not. You spend most of your free time with them, your hobbies and friendships most likely have been affected, and your life goals may have involved said person.
So when it comes time to a split, the future now becomes foggy. Your plan to get married, build a family, or whatever else, is now distant and unforeseeable. The unknown is scary. Especially when it comes to our own future, which is something that most of us want to have control over. Yet, this loss of control, especially when you are the one being dumped, is frightening. What you thought was your future, will now be a distant memory.
But when it comes to the ‘dumper’, your job is significantly harder when you don’t want to hurt the person that you’ve developed a connection with, despite not wanting to be with them, most people still care for their partner (most – certainly not all.) You may even delay the break-up, trying to find the right time, because we all know that you can’t do it on their birthday, their parents birthday, on a school day, the week before an exam, near the holidays, and it needs to be in person. If you think about it, that doesn’t leave too many days that are viable options, however, when it comes to that overwhelming belief that the relationship is over, most people will eventually will feel too guilty, and decide on the day that it’s over.
Neither job is pleasant, and most times will require some personal time. Here is a list of ways to get over your break-up.