I Suck. A Failure’s Guide to Confidence

It’s not uncommon to find it difficult to accept our strengths. We see it all the time; students get frustrated with their A’s and Tammy at work got a 50 cent raise. It’s so damn annoying!  

Why? 

Because we human’s like compare ourselves to each other.

In an unrealistic, unproductive, and detrimental manner.  If we look at social media, you see it everywhere. Fitness, health, relationships, everyone seems to have it better than us.  

I imagine myself at school, sitting at the back of the class as the teacher walks from row to row.  My hands are trembling with a mix of excitement and sheer panic.  This test will determine if I can finally follow my dream and get into an environmental studies program!  All I need is an 85.  

Finally, the ink-stained paper thumps onto my desk.  In bright blue pen is – 87!

My eyes water with joy, I don’t think that this smile will ever wash off.  I turn to see Gabby, my best friend since primary school, and she is jumping up and down, 

“Omg, Cass, I got a 95! Here I come Geffreys University,” she twirls around, “Dr. Gabby Riston.” 

“Congratulations,” I turn to face the board, “Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t ask what you got?” 

“Oh, it’s not as good as yours”

You know what? It’s hard to be supportive without the jealousy, especially when it comes to people you work with. And this happens, all, the, time. Remember that job you applied for, but someone else got it? Or that raise your coworker received because they’ve been there longer? The important thing is to remember that it’s part of life. We can’t all be “the best.”

So, sometimes you need to Fake it! Be a good friend, but also take care of yourself. Make sure to congratulate them, because if it’s someone that you care about, of course, you should show them exactly that. But it’s also okay to keep topics around other subjects. Just don’t make it too abrupt or rude if you do change a topic.

All in all, you may not have gotten the best score, but you are still successful. Keep your head up high and give the middle finger if you have to. Don’t let it define you especially if it has to do with someone else’s opinion.

If you fall, stay there for a bit, and then get back up

We all fail. We all struggle. We all have bad days. Just because someone makes more money has a nicer home, or a handsome husband does not mean that everything is unicorns and rainbows.

When you fail, (because you will), stay there and think. This is a great time to reflect on yourself and your situation. HOWEVER, DO NOT MAKE ANY MAJOR DECISIONS. I see this, time, and time again, people who are upset or emotional and make rash decisions. Don’t do it.

Instead, try to figure out:

• What you want.
• What you need.
• How will you get there?

Once the sadness and anger subside, you’ll be able to create a plan to either, try again, or choose a new path. Now you’ll know what you want and how to get it. Don’t be afraid. Confidence is the key to getting what you want. If you know that you deserve it and show it. Most times, you will succeed.